Jan 13, 2010

Morning Depression

I am angry but I try to stay calm.

Reasoning?

The answer - I am always wrong!

My mom scolded me, my dad scolded me

and of course cold shoulder from the one I need most.

I am angry but I need to stay calm

and focus.

I have a job to go to

I have a shop to tend to

I have a diploma to  complete

I have an amanah to fulfill

Yet,

I was taken for granted.

I am angry and I am sad.

Sad... sad... sad.

Depression is coming

and I don't know

whether I can stay calm, focus

and happy as usual?

14 comments:

Kit Pryde said...

dear kak chik.

know that you are loved despite being scolded by your loved ones.

and that above all, Allah loves you.

that has always helped me even through my toughest times.

*hugs*

Nor said...

There are days that every step we take just seems wrong...fret not, just recite lots of Istighfar, before you know it,they're not there anymore! Rosy days will soon follow.....Parts and parcels of our lives, hang in there!!

NoR said...

i can u'stand the frustration in you. Hope everything will get well soon, insya allah.

lidey said...

sem0ga kakchik terus kuat menempuh ujian yg mendatang

we love u n always pray for u :)

kakchik said...

Kit, thank you for those wonderful words, I need them.

kakchik said...

Kak An, I'm trying to do just that and maybe that's the secret of this temporary calm. This morning I was so angry but I kept saying astagfirullahalazim, at the same time pleading for understanding and appreciation. I still got a cold shoulder. I was thinking of you then. I'm in need to talk with someone I trust.

kakchik said...

NoR, thank you sis. Yes, I hope so too because I'm working hard for it.

kakchik said...

lidey, thank you my dear. amiin.

NoortheNinjabi said...

*big hugs* Mornings like that are no fun. InshaAllah ta'ala you can sit down with the cold shouldered one and explain why that reaction makes you feel bad. As for your parents, if they didn't care, they wouldn't bother scolding you. So in a backwards weird way, alhamdulillah they scolded you! :-P

kakchik said...

Noor, thank you for hugs. I really appreciate that. Back home, the cold shouldered one just keeps ignoring me. Did try my very best to sit down and talk but ... still the same. It's typical Malay male attitude.

But... the ice has broken. He just did something really funny and I can't ignore it. LOL LOL LOL... read my fb update.

Actually I'm glad that I have parent who cared so much about me especially in this situation.

Stylomom said...

Take Heart Chik, like me, being the youngest, my family always thinks im wrong or stupid or something... luckily the two people that matter, my husband and kids, think the world of me... nothing else matters really. You take care now ok.

kakchik said...

Stylomom, insyaAllah I'm trying. Sadly the person that matter most is not giving me any support. However that would turn out ok soon, insyaAllah. I can just imagine what goes on between you and your siblings, huhu.

Hajar said...

Assalamualaikum Kak Chik,

I sincerely hope you're doing much better now. Rest assured that even if the whole world is against you, our dearest God, Allah S.W.T still holds you dearly. May you receive peace in your heart, mind and soul. Insha'Allah.

kakchik said...

Wa'alaikummussalam Hajar.

Thank you sis. Alhamdulillah I'm much much better now. Yes, that's the reminder that I needed most to calm down. Amiin.

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